Monday 20 May 2013

Two more celebrity dreams

I had this dream weeks ago, and it still haunts me. I can't remember the whole thing, but suffice it to say, I was Demi Moore, and I had to shave my face because of excessive facial hair. And I had bad acne.

The horror, the horror
I stood at a bathroom mirror, applied shaving cream with one of those brushes, and shaved my face. While that was happening I thought, what the hell is she doing?!? Then I started to pop all the zits that could be seen after the hair was gone. The activity was stopped when I saw Bruce Willis's reflection in the mirror. He asked (with that constipated look of his), "Do you really think what you're doing is a good idea?" He also said something else, but I can't remember what it was.

Then last night I dreamt I met Emma Stone. I asked her about her open letter to some magazine called "Spring Look", wherein she asked a pair of shoes out on a date.

We had a good laugh about that, and she showed me a purse she got from that magazine (it was a dark brown tin box with circles on it - hey it's a dream, just roll with it), then she showed me her shoes. She was wearing them. They don't look like the shoes in the picture here, they were a beigey-tan with a round, closed toe and a low heel. In my dream, she was the same size as me, so she let me try them on. I tried on the right shoe to see if my bunion would feel comfortable in them. My foot was very, very, comfortable but then I bent my foot to walk and I felt the old familiar pinch on my toes. No matter, I thought, that should go away once I have my surgery. For some reason I felt the need to suck up, so I gushed about how comfortable they were. Then I asked how much she paid for them. "$7,000", she said.

I asked her if she was nuts. Then I added, "I understand you can afford this sort of thing, but didn't you stop to wonder if maybe $7,000 is way too much for a pair of shoes, no matter how much money you may have?" She agreed it was excessive, but she wanted them and they're so comfortable. She wasn't insulted by my reaction, and we talked about how these shoes look like they're really worth $100 (although in my mind, I would have paid $200 for them - they were that comfortable). I told her when she gets tired of them, she could always send them to me.

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