Friday, 5 March 2010

I need to find something better to do with my life

You know when you have nightmares about your job it's time to move on.

It's the end of March break for us. I've been off this week with our son. Where I work, in order to be off for a week you have to do a ton of work that is not only your own but what is also heaped on you. Last Friday I worked from 6am to past 11:30pm, so my back-up would have as little to do as possible. It turned out to be a 17.5 hour day. No wonder I started my vacation by feeling rather sick and overtired.

I'm a data coordinator. (I need to be a little mysterious due to the nature of the biz.) Anyway, one would think it's a regular 9 to 5 type job. It isn't. Tons of overtime. Usually I can't do overtime at the end of the day, so I'm in early. Very early. And it still isn't enough. Our turn-around times for getting stuff done is short enough, but we were told it's getting shorter. Yay. We're under enough pressure as it is. We constantly get weekly emails blasting us for being late to getting work to the team leaders to review before the proper deadline comes up. Yet when it comes time to review it, they take their time. Our time, really. We have to work double quick to make that up. Very stressful. Since I've been in that dept (I was in another dept before), we've had numerous people go on stress leave. Now we have very stressed out people who should be on leave but aren't for fear of losing their jobs.

I'm somewhat new to this position in that before, all I did was everyone's schedule and everyone's formatting. I'm good for that, that is where my strengths lie. Now I'm doing reports from opening to quality assurance. I've become proficient at some of it, but definitely not all. I know this isn't the job for me - I like something more creative and I have struggled just dealing in data and an archaic data system software. There are a lot of steps to memorize. We have standard operating procedures to help guide us in what we do but they don't include everything. Some people are very good at remembering everything. I'm not that kind of gal. I don't know if it's stress or middle age or what, but I need to write things down. Some of these things are far too complicated to write down and it all depends on the situation.

I'm sure when I return I'll get an earful of what I didn't do before I left. I'm supposed to have my yearly evaluation soon (actually, it should have been done by now). This year they're giving raises. From what I was told, raises are based on the previous year's evaluation not the present year. Last year I had a stellar review. Knowing my supervisor, she would probably tell me this time around I don't deserve a raise. I'll have to remind her what that raise is based on.

If this job paid $20/hour for all the pressure we're under and the hand-holding we do for the higher-ups, I wouldn't be so disillusioned about this job. It pays far less. And I just found out one co-worker (who does excellent work despite being dumped on regularly) is paid $3 less than I am. Such a shame. I can't make ends meet anymore. I asked how he did it. He doesn't have much debt - just a car, really. His fiancée is a student and makes more money than he does.

So I've updated my curriculum vitae and I'm on the lookout for new possibilities. Not sure it will happen for me, though. Where I live if your French isn't perfect, forget it. And I'm going to be 48 this year. When I first started with my present employer, I honestly thought I was going to retire there. Not anymore. I could always get laid off - we had one large one in 2009 in our location, and the head office shut down in the States. If I get laid off, I get a package. I've often joked that if there is another layoff and I'm part of it, I hope it's in May (after 1st quarter) so I can take the summer off. I don't think there will be another layoff. We're pretty thin in that dept as it is.

Someone asked me what I'm looking for. I'm not sure yet. Obviously, I'd like a good pay (wouldn't we all). Telecommuting sounds like a dream - I'd get the best of both worlds. If something was wrong with my son, I could pick him up at school yet continue to work once I got him settled down. I think that's what finally made me snap last Friday. The school called because the power was out. I called my husband and luckily, he could take the day off and stay with him. I thought to myself, what if I was a single mother? Would I have been told sorry - you need to stay and do all this stuff because noone else has time? Probably. I didn't have a child to try and foist his care on other people. I do take pride in doing the best that I can do and I don't mess around at work - I'm paid to work, that's what I do. I like to work. But when my son needs Mom or Dad and Dad can't be there, I want to be there. If I need to work on a Saturday to catch up, fine, I'll do it just don't make me feel guilty and say "no, don't bother coming in". (The reason why I didn't go in last Saturday is because all the systems were shut down for maintenance.)

Once again, my life is up in the air. Not sure how everything is going to turn out. When I was on my own, I had confidence that I would land on my feet like a cat always does when it's thrown up in the air. Now I have two people relying on me. Sure, my husband works but we can't make it on one salary (we're barely making it with two right now). He's looking and applying for better positions, so at least he's doing something positive to change things.

I'm at the point now where I need action because I'm tired of griping about work and not doing something positive about it.

No comments:

Post a Comment